Random: The Bus Ride And The Belt Salesman


Not the actual salesman…

Hey BlogWorld! Got a story to tell, i’ll do my best here…

 So this afternoon (Friday Oct. 26, 2012), I travelled on a bus from Mandeville to Christiana as a part of running a few errands. While the bus driver did his best to drive all over Mandeville in effort to elude a Police Officer on a bike who wanted to give him a ticket, I was greeted by a rather peculiar character who took passage on the bus. His first statement was to the tune of, “Come inside, let’s all take a bus ride” (I forgot what he actually said..), the other was, “Unno pack tight like Sausage, nuh block up the passage…” He went on further to make up many rhymes during our bus ride which lasted around 20 minutes. Every conversation he kept with us passengers turned into a witty rhyme, even when we were eluding the Police Officer he taunted him with a clever rhyme much to our entertainment.

      He was dressed in a brown shirt and jean shorts, a huge pair of sunglasses and on his fingers were a set of gold rings. He was called “Chubby” and was a travelling Belt Salesman and his objective was to sell some belts in Christiana for he failed to make any sales in Mandeville. He was a clever man, really had a way with words, and seemed to be a really determined fellow. One incident that surprised me was when he made a lady move from being extremely angry to all smiles and laughs. This woman was travelling with her mother who happened to be quite ill and was persuading the bus driver to be speedy in his travelling for her mom needed bed rest. Instead of following her request, the bus driver proceeded to elude the aforementioned Police Officer. This action made the lady really upset and demanded to be let off the bus numerous times but to no avail. She reached her boiling point however when she threatened that she would alert the Police of his actions and accuse him of rape.

   After many quarrels between the lady, the bus driver, and the bus conductor who later came in defense of the driver, the Belt Salesman intervened and spoke to the lady in a number of rhymes in efforts to calm her down. The lady calmed down, much to the relief of us the passengers, and turned into a lady bubbling with laughter. The man even went as far as sweet talking her with lines such as, “Yuh waan we mek a flex? Send on your number so we can call and text and later down have some sex!“, “Look how you round, like an english pound“, and “Yuh have a husband? That nuh matter me, him can tek off the brassiere while me tek off yuh panty!“.

   The bus was filled with so much laughter in those 20 minutes. The Belt Salesman was applauded by the passengers, sadly no belts were purchased from him. He then proceeded to tell his audience a few parts of his life experiences. He spoke on fathering five children, 4 girls and one boy, and how he used his skills in belt making to take care of his responsibilities. He also spoke on how he experienced Cerebral Aneurysm. He went on further to highlight a time where was poisoned and how he overcame it with the help of his faith in God. He spoke on how it was a mango given to him by a friend that lead to his poisoning. He then explained how he took a bite into it and upon tasting a unfamiliar taste in the fruit he suddenly felt weak and was rushed to a friend’s house. During his stay he began to vomit and felt weaker by the minute. He then proceeded to pray to God for help upon which he blacked out and was awoken by his urge to vomit. This resulted in him getting rid of the poison and was well again. After some investigation, his friend told him how a guy in his neighborhood who was skilled in stealing gave him the mango and the owners of the tree poisoned a few of the fruits to avoid thieves. Both the thief and the friend were unaware of said action. After his story he then left the bus to hustle his wares in Christiana.

    This experience was worth blogging about for it shows how creative we are as a people. He reminded me of deejay Professor Nuts and how he could use clever lines to bring excitement to his audience. This man was very witty and really had a way with words that would sure to leave a lasting impression. I salute him and the many people in the world with the gift of gab.

Be sure to check out my affiliate @Dre1Alliance of www.StarAllianceJamaica.com, his crazy Facebook Page and more!

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3 thoughts on “Random: The Bus Ride And The Belt Salesman

  1. Really nice story … Sad that no one was willing to show their support by buying a belt. lol it’s ridiculous how much crap we buy anyway that we don’t ever use!

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